Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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