We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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