I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
