Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Randomize
