After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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