ugly people sure do ruin things
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
