it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
zippers are such a cool invention
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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