watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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