I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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