Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
