He is such a slut. More and more my type.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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