2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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