This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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