My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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