I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
