I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize