I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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