Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize