AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
