I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
