At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There's always time for handjobs
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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