But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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