I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I touched a dick in church today
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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