Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
