...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
only you would photoshop your dick
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
