I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
