So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
