the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
