The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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