I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
