Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize