By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We're too hungover to prance.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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