Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
