Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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