just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
