and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
