I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
