I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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