I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize