Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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