I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
