I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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