Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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