I bet he comes in French.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Let's get the cat blown out
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
