I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
