Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
