dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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