"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize