Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
