i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sorry about my life...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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