i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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