even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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