You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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