the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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