I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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