I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
