I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just made my gag reflex go away.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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