i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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