the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
