The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize