Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
